The Myth of Self-Esteem

Just yesterday, a well-meaning public school teacher remarked that a student's difficulties were traceable to a lack of self-esteem. The underlying hypothesis here--that low self-esteem leads to poor behavior and high self-esteem leads to "good" behavior--is just that: a hypothesis. And it is one that has been tested by psychologists such as Roy Baumeister and many others. The findings seem unequivocable to me: behavioral, athletic, or academic excellence is not caused by raising someone's self-esteem. In fact, trying to raise self-esteem directly can lead to worsening performance, a result that is in keeping with a great deal of anecdotal evidence, at least in my daily life.

Baumeister, among others, has found that those who habitually mess up--bullies and criminals, for example--don't suffer from low self-esteem. Rather, they may display an especially inflated, self-regarding form, usually referred to as narcissism. Insofar as students have been encouraged to become raging narcissists, they have been cheated. They are walking on a path that leads to progressively weaker behavior.

Effective training or teaching--as has been known for a few thousand years--should focus on the result, the concrete behavior or accomplishment. Complimenting for objective accomplishment can increase future excellence. However, we live in the 21st century, not some past in which children or apprentices could be treated like trash until they proved themselves. Though we need not constantly compliment the inner person just for being a person, we should be reluctant to hand out abuse under the guise of toughing up students.

Compliment the behavior, not the person or personality. Refrain from negative reinforcement when it insults human dignity. But remember that people--particularly children and teenagers--are a lot more resilient than we often acknowledge in these paranoid times. Some struggle is essential.